Do not date someone only for sex, and be on the lookout forsigns of a destructive or dysfunctional relationship. Continue working your program, pursuing independent hobbies and interests, and nurturing other important friendships and relationships. Addiction may have shattered important relationships in your life, and recovery may mean that you had to leave behind all your old friends. This can leave you feeling lonely and wanting to connect with others, which makes dating seem appealing. Before you make a decision, consider the reasons experts say you should wait. Their relationship was surrounded by alcohol, and it started to become obvious that they couldn’t take nights off and that was an issue.
Sometimes, the sober partner will have to prioritize the sobriety over the relationship. There is no guarantee that sober dating will always be fun or easy; but if both partners are willing to make it work, then they can find true happiness in each other. It is important to be aware of the fact that people in recovery are not only recovering from their substance abuse, but also the factors that led them to this point. Keeping this in mind, your partner may deal with mental health conditions, unresolved trauma, and other issues from their past that they are trying to heal from.
But would I go to a random bar with my husband surrounded by people I barely know? Maybe for a little bit, but I’ll most likely get bored and leave early. It is integral to their identity, and they wear it as a badge of honor.
Navigating the Dating Scene When You Stop Drinking
However, it’s important to understand the truth behind a person’s addiction and recovery. Make an effort to understand your partner’s reasoning for sobriety.2. Determine what you can do to aid in your partner’s recovery. We’re here 24/7 to help guide you or your loved on through rehab and recovery. Submit your number to receive a call today from a treatment provider.
How Long Does Ecstasy Stay in Your System?
As with any and all relationships, good communication is absolutely vital. However, it becomes even more important when dating someone who drinks. You don’t have to give them a full account of your past, but simply telling them sooner rather than later that you don’t drink can go a long way.
Remember, it’s not your fault, and some things are out of your control. Arran assumed that anyone who didn’t drink would be humorless and boring. Initially, he found it curious I spent sunny afternoons in church basements with strangers. He worried he’d come home one day and find me smelling of Jack Daniels and slurring my words. And yet, regardless of my intentions, a drink or two always became six or seven. In a matter of hours, I’d go from sexy and cool to sloppy and mean.
I’ve written about relationships with codependent alcoholics before, and it’s something you want to be vigilant about. If you’re dating a recovering go to alcoholic or thinking about it, ask about their boundaries. Every sober person has them, but they aren’t the same for everyone.
It’s important to avoid this kind of dynamic, as it can raise your levels of stress and worry, preventing you from living your own life. Instead, try to build open communication in the relationship. Talk to your potential partner about what you expect from the relationship and remain open as things change and grow. Your own mental health is just as important to a healthy relationship.
Eventually, it may come down to accepting harsh realities. As most people in recovery will say, becoming sober entails living in a world that is not sober, and a dating scene that is inherently linked to alcohol consumption to make things happen. If you are someone that enjoys drinking regularly, dating a recovering addict may call for some changes.
I find that women I date don’t care so much as long as I’m straight forward, admit i had a problem, don’t drink now, and I’m moving forward. Hit those key points, don’t make excuses, and just say it is what it is. I’m a pretty transparent person in general, and inevitably someone will ask why I’m not drinking. I realize that may make me less desirable but I think many women really appreciate the candor either way.
Be careful in how you choose to address the issue if you truly believe your partner has a problem. Consult a professional, such as a substance abuse nurse or counselor, for guidance. They are trained to handle all phases of care, from prevention to recovery, and can help you figure out the best way to help your partner.
